


Hold On

by Totallynotashieldagent



Series: Prompts and Requests [30]
Category: Marvel, X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Reader is a mutant, Sexual Assault, charles has pretty blue eyes, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Totallynotashieldagent/pseuds/Totallynotashieldagent
Summary: The Reader is poisonous to the touch but she learns that she can do much more than just hurt.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Request by - PixiePoison
> 
> Request - Could you do something cute between like Charles and a mutant reader who has the power to turn her skin poisonous but also learns she has the power to heal people with a touch. So maybe like the damage in Charles' body is too bad to fully heal when she touches him but as long as she touches him he can like walk and all that again?

You were trying to go home but this guy from college was following you home and it was beginning to get on your nerves. 

 

"Come on, Y/N," He called out, "Just one date,"

 

"I'm _really_ not interested," You stated quietly without turning around

 

You were worried about how aggressively he'd react and your suspicions were very accurate because as soon as you came across a street that was less crowded, he pulled you into an empty alleyway.

 

"Please let- let me go," You kept your voice even, "I'm- I'm really," Your heart was thundering and you felt lightheaded, "I'm just not- I'm focusing on my stu-," Your words caught in your throat as his knee pushed between your thighs

 

"Don't be a fuckin' bitch," He growled, "You'd be lucky to be with me," 

 

"Please," You whispered as his hand grabbed your ass and bile rose in your throat

 

You felt sick and disturbed beyond belief.  _This isn't happening. This isn't happening. No, no, no, no._  Your brain shortcircuited and the next thing you saw was skin his burning and his body seizing up as he fell to the ground. You screamed loudly as you saw blood spill from his eyes and blisters burst open and the blackness consumed you because the vision in front of you was too much to take in. 

 

* * *

 

When you'd been brought to the mansion, Logan's hands had been burned badly. His skin was almost melting off as blisters were burning and scarring his bones and you were unconscious. Charles wasn't around that particular day to tell what was going on with you, so, it was everyone's best guess to just stay away from you. 

 

"What happened?" Hank had asked Logan

 

"I heard screamin' and when I got to her, the guy was on the floor in a puddle of his own blood and his skin was comin' off like mine," Logan explained with painful detail 

 

"I'll run some tests," Hank nodded, "Maybe you should call the Professor," 

 

"Nah, bub, I ain't work for him. I just delivered because she's safer here than on the streets," Logan sat down in the corner of the room as he caught his breath and began to heal

 

"But you-," Hank tried to reason with him but he didn't really like the Alpha Male power play that Logan brought with him, "I guess I'll run some tests," 

 

However, all those plans were cut short as soon as Hank had touched you to get your pulse. His skin had burned and he'd pulled away quickly. The blisters came soon after. He iced his fingers immediately and after the extensive tests which he'd run on himself came back, it only showed what he'd suspected. You were poisonous to the touch. Th only reason that you hadn't been extremely lethal to him, was due to the fact that you weren't awake and he'd touched you for barely a moment, at least, that was his best guess. As soon as his pain had subsided, he'd injected you with a very strong knockout agent and placed you under quarantine until Charles was to come back. 

 

* * *

 

"Start from the start, Hank," Alex's brows furrowed, "And slowly," 

 

"New mutant," Hank rolled his eyes, "Logan brought in a new mutant. She's dangerous and poisonous. Her skin produces a venom that kills faster than anything I've ever seen before,"

 

"Well, let's wake her up, shall we?" Charles smiled and walked past Alex and Hank

 

The three entered the lab and your bed was in the middle with a hazmat bubble around it. 

 

"Is that really necessary?" Charles sighed as he stared at Hank

 

"I haven't tested if she can contaminate the air around her or not," Hank quickly explained but Charles had already taken a quick peek inside your head

 

"She won't contaminate the air," Charles stated as he walked closer to you, "It's just her skin but that's only the tip of the iceberg. Wake up, love," 

 

You stirred slowly but your eyelids felt really heavy and your throat was dry like sand. 

 

"Get her some water," Charles called out to Alex and he got water to your lips

 

 _Don't be alarmed now, my dear_ , A voice echoed in your head and your eyes shot open as you gasped for air but your body was still weighing down due to the drug

 

"Hello," You saw a man with shining blue eyes smiling at you, "I'm Charles and you're at my institute for gifted people; people like you," 

 

Another boy offered your water and you drank it because you were just so  _thirsty_. You stared at them and you felt yourself be floated into a sitting position. 

 

"Are you comfortable?" Charles asked politely and you nodded but you were still scared

 

"I-," You caught your breath, "I didn't- I didn't mean to- to kill anyone," 

 

Charles knew what you were talking about. He was never that great with privacy. 

 

"Don't worry about that, dear," He smiled again, "You're safe," 

 

"You're not safe- Not safe from me," Your eyes burned with tears, "I- My hands-,"

 

"It's all of you, actually," He corrected you, "You're a mutant," 

 

"No," Dread filled you because you'd seen the news, you knew how much everyone hated their kind and you'd already killed, "No, no, no. I- No- I can't be-," 

 

"You are," Charles repeated softly and the tears flooded your eyes, "I'll help you figure it out. We'll understand your mutantcy and we'll figure everything out. Together," 

 

* * *

 

When the drugs had finally worn off, Hank had asked if he could run some tests on you. You knew you couldn't call home. Your parents were openly prejudiced against mutants. Your father worked for the government that actively hunted them. No, you'd decided that you'd be safer if your parents just thought you'd run away. You hid away from the world and the mansion became your home.

 

Hank had explained to you that your cells were strange, to say the least. Your skin was poisonous only when a surge of adrenaline was pumping through your veins, which explained why he'd been gotten hurt when he'd checked for a pulse but not as badly as Logan had.

 

You had been terrified of the encounter in the alley, that's why the fear, which was induced by glutamate, along with the adrenaline, it all mixed together to make your skin so aggressively lethal. 

 

He also explained that when your body had high levels of dopamine and endorphins, something completely different happened. Your skin wouldn't burn, it would heal. It started small when you were understanding to control your emotions to control your powers. You could heal people too. When you'd heard those words slip Hank's lips, you'd broken down crying. You had a chance at  _normal_  and you began training twice as hard and thrice as much, just to get a handle on things.

 

However, when Charles and Hank with Alex and the others left with the younger ones in yours and Logan's care, things changed. Erik turned sides, some left with him. Some died and a part of Charles was stolen from him as well. You'd always adored him because he'd helped you unlock your potential when you wanted to lock it away but he was with Moira at that time and everyone could see that he hit on anything that moved. Plus, for the brief time that you'd known Erik, he'd taught you how to create mental walls around your thoughts so that Charles wouldn't always know what you were up to. That was a good thing in a long run, considering that you'd developed a little crush on the blue-eyed telepath. 

 

* * *

 

"Are you going to stay here all day?" You leaned against the doorframe

 

"Hank is taking care of the children," Charles was sitting in his wheelchair and staring out the window, "Alex is training them. I'm not needed at the moment," 

 

"Would you let me try again?" You walked up to him, "Maybe- I don't know- Maybe I'm stronger this time," You placed your hand on his shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze

 

"I'm afraid that even your extraordinary abilities cannot repair a severed spine, my love," He smiled as he looked up at you and your heart broke you knew that he was just putting a brave front for you

 

Charles Xavier was a man who was suave and sophisticated. He was at the top of the food chain, even before he was a mutant, even if he hadn't been a mutant, he was always destined for greater and better things. That was all he had dreamed of. That was all he had known to be. Being in a wheelchair wasn't something he'd planned and he had planned everything in his life. 

 

"Maybe we can just try it _one_ more time?" You offered instead and he raised his brow

 

You went to sit on the couch and beckoned him to come closer to you. You tucked his hair behind his ear and smiled as brightly as you could, hoping that your smile alone could make him feel better. You didn't know but it did. 

 

"Hold my hands," You instructed and you held both of his hands, "Tell me what you feel," You asked and he nodded

 

You took a deep breath and held his hands. For the longest moment, nothing seemed to happen so then you closed your eyes and focused more. 

 

"Y/N-," Charles whispered and you opened your eyes

 

He stood shakily on his legs and you gasped. Your hands clapped over your mouth but as soon as you let go of him, he fell back into his wheelchair. 

 

"Oh my god-," You mumbled your words as the gravity finally weighed down, you couldn't heal Charles, "I shouldn't have- I was- I need to leave-,"

 

"No, Y/N, wait-," He tried to stop you but you ran out of the room and he was left alone was his thoughts

__

* * *

 

"Stupid!" You groaned, "Of course it couldn't have worked!" You'd locked yourself in your room and were scolding yourself for being stupid enough to think that it could

 

You weren't  _that_  strong. You couldn't heal what was completely broken. You were just cursing yourself for thinking more of yourself than you actually work when a loud knock echoed through the room. 

 

"I know you're in there, love," Charles's voice came from the other side, "I don't need to be a telepath to feel you pacing inside," 

 

"I'm- Now's not a good time," You swallowed to keep your voice even

 

The lock twisted by itself and the door swung slowly. Charles smiled at you as his eyes met yours. 

 

"Now is as good a time as any," He rolled closer to you, "Would you accompany me for a walk?"

 

"Are you-," You wanted to protest but you could never really say no to those blue eyes, "Okay,"

 

You walked out of the room but Charles was moving in a different direction. He smiled and gestured with his eyes for you to follow him and so, you did. He led you through the kitchen into the gardens that weren't connected to the ones that students used. 

 

"My mother had this made for my father," Charles told you as you took in the stunning beauty of the garden, "He never came here," He added with a bitterness

 

"Well, I'd love to come here every day if you'd let me," You said absentmindedly as you admired the flowers 

 

"Come on," He asked you and you happily followed

 

The pavement led into the estate around the mansion which was covered in lush greenery. It was just you, Charles and the birds. You had a soft smile plastered on your lips as you walked just a step in front of Charles because he was purposefully keeping behind you, to see if you truly enjoyed this. 

 

You noticed that Charles was behind so you slowed down as well and began to walk beside him, gushing about how beautiful everything was after every few moments. 

 

"What's on your mind?" He finally asked as he stopped in front of you

 

"I'm just thinking about how remarkable everything is," You explained and Charles smiled knowingly 

 

"Y/N," He huffed a soft laugh, "You know that's not what I meant,"

 

"I- Why'd you ask me to come here?" You tore away from his gaze

 

"I wanted to talk without prying eyes and ears," He reminded you that you lived with superhumans 

 

Charles offered you his hand and you took it in yours, "You're not supposed to heal me, Y/N. Don't fret over the fact that you can't," 

 

"But I- That's what I do- That's  _supposed_  to be my thing," You rolled your eyes, "I just wanted to help you- In any way possible," 

 

"That's noble of you, my dear," He gave your hand a soft squeeze, "However, I just wish to walk with you," 

 

"You mean-," You stared at him and he nodded

 

You took a deep breath and Charles stood slowly. You met his shining eyes and he smiled through his tears as he held onto your hand for dear life. 

 

"I don't need you to heal me," He caressed your cheek with his other hand 

 

"Come on," You smiled as a tear fell from your eye and he wiped away, "We've got a long trail to see and it's already evening. Don't let go," 

 

Your fingers intertwined with Charles and you two began your walk into the lush forest. 

 

"Wouldn't dream of it, love," He kissed your cheek and you ventured into the estate 


	2. Chapter 2

It became the norm and also a little secret between you and Charles. Every other day, after dinner, he'd ask if you'd like to go for a walk and you'd smile widely when you would nod in excitement. The gardens were breathtaking and the estate was massive enough that you two never ran into any of the students. You never asked him if he told anyone about it because you didn't really care for it. 

 

You weren't a fighter like Alex or Hank. You still couldn't control the harm in a way because Charles had a no-kill rule and your poison was lethal to mutants and humans alike, so, you only trained to control the poison and the antidote, nothing else. 

 

However, you felt like something had changed. You can't hold someone's hand every other day for hours and not feel something for them, especially when it was only an ember before but was slowing beginning to consume you like a raging fire now. There were moments when you'd almost let go of Charles because you just couldn't take it anymore but you held on. You held on because you couldn't let go. Metaphorically and physically as well. 

 

You told yourself that this was your burden to bear and yours alone. It wasn't Charles's fault that you'd begun to like him. It wasn't his fault that he only saw you as a friend and it certainly his fault that your feelings were overwhelming you but you just... you couldn't just  _stop_  going with him, right? That would be rude and selfish and horrible and you did enjoy your time with him but... it was just hard. 

 

* * *

 

"Ready, love?" Charles knocked on your door 

 

You opened the door and smiled softly, "Not tonight, maybe tomorrow?" You offered and closed the door without waiting for an answer

 

You'd been avoiding him for a while. Charles wasn't stupid but he was quite daft when it came to understanding people. You didn't know how to break it to him that you felt something for him because even the notorious flirt that he was, he'd become a little withdrawn and all his time was mostly spent with you. 

 

"Y/N," He called out to you, "May I come in please?" 

 

Your heart dropped and your hand rested on the doorknob.  _Think, think, think._ Your mind was blank. 

 

"Yeah, what's going on?" You opened the door and let him in

 

"Have I done something to offend you?" He turned to look up at you 

 

"Nope," You shrugged as the lie danced off of your tongue and you sat on the edge of the bed, "What makes you say that?" 

 

"You've been avoiding me, Y/N," Charles smirked, "Don't make me read your mind to know what's on it," 

 

"I just- It's taxing on me I guess," Another lie and your heart was drumming in your ears

 

"Why didn't you say something before?" He wheeled closer to your and caressed your cheek, making you look into his eyes, "We won't go often," 

 

"I still want to walk with you," You found yourself saying, "But just- Maybe- Maybe we shouldn't always hold hands," 

 

"Are you alright? Perhaps I should ask Hank to run some tests," He nodded to himself and before you could protest, he was gone already

 

_Great_ , You cradled your head in your hands because the walks were in no way taxing or stressing to your powers, just your emotional wellbeing

 

* * *

 

The next day, Hank had called you to his lab and you were already dreading the whole ordeal. 

 

"So, what's going on with you?" Hank asked as soon as you walked in, "The Professor said that you're feeling sick lately," 

 

"No, I'm fine, actually," You frowned and sat down in front of him as you put out your arm so he could draw blood

 

The tests were a monthly thing for all the residents of the mansion. You were just going through the motions. 

 

"No, Y/N," Hank drew blood and tinkered with other equipment, "He came in last night and told me very specifically that you weren't well. So, what's wrong?" 

 

You took a deep breath and looked at Hank.  _No use in lying to a doctor_ , You told yourself and your eyes fell to the floor.

 

"You know that I can't heal Charles, right?" You asked and he nodded, "Well, turns out that I can heal him for as long as I'm touching him - Like- If I'm holding his hand- He can walk if I'm holding his hand. So, we've been taking long walks every few days and I love them, I really do but it's just- I can't- I don't- I just- I can't keep holding his hand forever-,"

 

"You like him," Hank smiled and you nodded as you shied away from his gaze

 

"And it's agony to hold his hand- to be close- to have that- to have that intimacy and know that nothing will ever-," You sighed deeply and ran your fingers through your hair

 

Hank chuckled softly and sat down in front of you, "Have you thought you  _talking_  to him about this rather than avoiding it all?" 

 

"I know he doesn't feel the same way," You scoffed as you rolled down your sleeves

 

"What makes you say that?" He frowned, "You two go on long scenic walks, as you  _just_  mentioned. Something that no one knew about and the Professor does have a big mouth," You laughed at the comment, "He enjoys your time and you enjoy his. He's with you most of the time and I doubt he's asking you to help him walk all the time,"

 

"He's only around me because he feels guilty for asking me to help him walk," You reasoned easily, "Doesn't mean anything," 

 

"Or maybe, just maybe, he likes to walk because it gives him an excuse to hold your hand. Why don't you think about that, huh?" Hank winked at you and sent you off to your room 

 

You went back and lied down in your bed. You were kind of numb after the whole conversation, honestly.  _Could it be?_  You asked yourself far too many times but pushed the notion aside. 

 

* * *

 

Another week passed and Charles didn't really visit you. Hank had told him that you just needed some time to yourself. You'd thanked him but he'd also told you to not make a habit of hiding away. 

 

It was long after dinner when you were in your room a soft knock echoed. The mansion was asleep and you stole a glance at the clock; it was after midnight. 

 

_May I come in?_ Charles's voice rang in your head 

 

You slipped out of bed and let him in. 

 

"It's late," You commented and he nodded with a smile

 

"Certainly is," Charles looked at you, "Would you sit with me?" 

 

"What's going on?" You rubbed the tiredness out of your eyes and sat down on a chair

 

"You've been avoiding me, Y/N," He sighed as he wheeled himself right in front of you, "And don't lie and say that you haven't," 

 

"Charles, I-," Your throat was dry and your heart seemed to be drowning out everything 

 

"Please," He placed his hand on your knee, "Tell me if I've done something to upset you," 

 

"It's not- I think I-" You weighed your words, "Do you spend time with me because I help you- help you to- you know-,"

 

"Walk?" Charles finished your sentence for you and you nodded, "Aren't you bloody well daft, then," He chuckled and you glared at him, "What? Honestly, love, don't think so low of me. True, I haven't been exemplary but I'm not that shallow either. I enjoy your company, Y/N,"

 

"That's- Thank you, Charles, but I'm- I don't-," You cleared your throat, hoping that it would help you clear your thoughts as well, it didn't, "I don't- I think- What I'm trying to say is that- is that Ilikeyouandyoudon'tevenknowit," 

 

"What?" He stared at you with his eyes wide and bright, taking in the new information and you'd just blurted in a single breath, "Y/N- I had no idea," 

 

"Yeah- I know- I'm sorry," You laughed uneasily as you started to pace, "God, this must be so awkward for you," 

 

"No, not at all," He smiled as he watched you pace around the room, "I like you quite a lot too, my dear," 

 

"No, you don't," You groaned loudly, "You're just saying that because you feel bad for me. You liked Moira,"

 

"Yes, I liked Moira but then I also sent her away," Charles rolled towards you, "I doubt I'd be able to part from you, love,"

 

Your breath got caught in your throat and he smiled up at you. His blue eyes were sparkling with mischief and you felt like you were about to drown in an open room. 

 

"Would you help me stand?" He asked so softly that his voice was only a whisper

 

You shook your head as tears began to burn your eyes and took a step back from Charles. He nodded understandingly and pulled away from you. He patted the bed beside him. You sat down, avoiding his gaze entirely. You didn't know what was going on. You felt like a fool.  _Shouldn't have said anything!_ You scolded yourself and Charles smiled as he took your hands in his. 

 

"You'll have to look at me for this next part, love," He told you softly and you sighed before meeting his eyes, "I do enjoy your company," You scoffed but he held your hands so you wouldn't let go, "Now, hold on, I'm not done yet. Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I like going on walks with you because it gives me a reason to be near you for a few hours without being disturbed by anyone?"

 

"I- Wh- No?" You blinked at the sudden revelation

 

"Did it ever occur to you that perhaps I sent Moira back because I knew that I had my heart set on someone else?" He laughed softly and your cheeks burned as a red hue spread across your skin, "And finally," He leaned closer and your heart stopped

 

You couldn't really process what was happening until his lips touched yours. Sparks didn't fly and there were no fireworks. It just felt like every single jagged puzzle piece had finally had been pieced together and everything made sense. It wasn't intimate, it was chaste and it was a promise that you truly felt was going to be kept. 

 

"And finally," Charles whispered as he pulled away but not quite because his were out of focus and shined like the stars in the sky, "I don't care if I walk or not but I would much rather have you by my side-,"

 

You didn't let him finish. You crashed your lips against his, and your fingers tangled in his hair as you kissed him like he was the answer to every prayer you'd made; like he was the fresh air and you were a drowning sailor. Your teeth clicked together and tongues collided and he pulled you into his lap or rather tried to. It was an uncomfortable position but it didn't matter. He was there, he was with you, he was in your arms and you could feel him smiling through the kiss.

 

You pulled away to breathe and leaned your forehead against his.

 

"Hey," You whispered and his thumb ran soft circles on your cheek 

 

You got off his lap and sat on the bed again but the only difference was that the both of you had a goofy smile on your faces. You felt like you were in junior high again and you'd just kissed your crush. 

 

"I could never read your mind without having my presence known," Charles suddenly said, "That's why I took some... manoeuvring to get here," 

 

You laughed loudly before clapping your hands over your mouth. You took a moment to regain your composure. 

 

"You'll have to take it up with Erik," You giggled, "He taught me how to create mental walls. I didn't even know I was doing that good of a job, honestly," 

 

"Are you sure you wish to do this with me, Y/N?" Charles's questions caught you off guard but you only smiled and held his hand in yours and leaned in to kiss him again

 

"Just don't let go," You whispered softly as you winked at him playfully

 

"Wouldn't dream of it, love," He gave your hand a soft squeeze and you knew that you two were in it for the long run 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops ?ohky so there was a tiny follow up but hey, THATS ALL FOLKS!!! (because i really can't write charles smut)

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment! share your feedback! hit me up on tumblr!! (Totallynotashieldagent) and like, just drop a message!


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